Again

He really was sorry. Again. He apologised to her with flowers, jewellry and clothes. Again. They were dead, gaudy and his mother's. Again.

The One That Got Away

I spend the holiday dodging the timeshare kidnap squads. So many tourists are taken against their will that the place is like 1980s Beirut.

Morning

The anti-depressants won't open again. Her three year-old gnaws off the childproof lid in 45 seconds. A new record. He doesn't eat too many.

Quid Pro Quo

I once knew a man who ate those pineapple chunk things out of pub urinals for pints of lager. You should have seen what he'd do for shorts.